Intuitive Writing — Sample Chapter — Modern Distractions
My new book, Intuitive Writing: The Remedy for Writer’s Block and the Secret to Authentic Communication, is out in the world today.
Listen to an excerpt (only available here and if you sign up for the review bundle).
Or, read the excerpt from the book below.
Chapter 4 - Modern Distractions
A good motto for creative living is garbage in, garbage out. This includes what I watch, read, listen to, eat, and drink, as well as who I interact with in-person and online.
Especially online. One of the biggest distractions: social media. It can be a fantastic tool for connecting with local communities and business friends. I first met many of the humans I love on social media. Many of my amazing clients came into my life through a referral and then got to know me through social media, and I love using social media to keep in touch with them too.
There’s connection . . . and then there’s consumption. When I spend more time consuming and scrolling than creating and living, I don’t like who I become. It’s a procrastination device that keeps me from my focus.
When I started writing Unfussy Life, I’d set up little games with myself. Write for thirty minutes, then reward myself with a social media break. Except that “break” would bleed into more than a few minutes, and I’d run out of time to write.
When I realized I was scrolling through pages and pages of updates without actually even reading anything, I knew something had to give.
If you cannot take a total social media break, you can install apps on your phone and computer to track your social media usage and even remove your social feeds altogether.
Calculate how much time you spend on social media in a day. This might be frightening, and maybe you don’t even want to know. Out of curiosity, I once whipped out my calculator to see how much time I’d spend on social media by the time I was one hundred.
To keep the math simple, I estimated spending an hour a day on social media, and if I’ve been on there since 2007 and spend an hour a day until I’m one hundred, that would mean I’d spent 3.03 years of my life scrolling through the socials.
Three years of looking through pictures of people I don’t know, memes, inspiring quotes, magazine-worthy meals, and other people’s writing.
Three freaking years is a lot of thumb-flicking. How much could I create in this time if I had the willpower to avoid it altogether?
During the months I was focused on book writing and editing, I took some intentional breaks from social media. Except for checking on my community and private messages once or twice a day, I deleted the apps from my phone, so I could only check from my computer.
Intuitive Writing Tip
Write before you consume any media.
After my last social media break in 2021, I had a revelation that would keep me back on social media for good.
I was chatting with some sisters in a spiritual community about being on social media. I asked them, “How can you use it knowing it’s riddled with darkness?”
The responses surprised me.
“I love social media!”
“Dark? But it’s so light-filled!”
“Social media is so fun!”
This was the first time in a long time I’d heard anyone have such a positive relationship with social media. Turned out these ladies knew what they were doing. They only followed light-filled accounts. They look at social media for what it truly is — a distraction if you allow it, but also a tool for sharing our lights and connecting with people who need us most.
By avoiding social media, I was dimming my light. I was staying small — also a function of ego. I returned that day and never looked back. I curated an experience that felt expansive and pushed me to become the next best version of myself by following accounts that inspired me and unfollowing those that didn’t.
Now I use social media mainly for business. I no longer scroll endlessly. I post, engage, have conversations, and send some love to the people who show up. When I see accounts I follow promoting bullshit narratives, negativity, and just straight-up darkness — I unfollow. No hard feelings.
JOURNAL PROMPTS
1. What are your go-to distractions?
2. Which platforms do you enjoy most? Why do you enjoy them more than others?
3. The next time you’re scrolling, notice your emotions. If something (positive or negative) creeps up, see how you’re feeling and what it was that triggered that.
4. What accounts do you follow that inspire and motivate you?
5. Who do you follow that leaves you feeling tired?
6. How do you feel when you log off?
If social media makes you feel like shit, then quit or take a break. At the very least, curate the hell out of what you let into your precious consciousness.
There are many ways to be mindful of how much you consume.
Create before you consume is one of my favorite practices. If you roll out of bed and the first thing you do is fire up social media, you’ve already put others’ ideas into your mind first before even considering what you think.
Any connection or consumption should feel good. If you sign off from social media feeling angry because you’re engaging in a heavy debate with strangers or constantly seeing photos of your friends’ latest tropical vacation, and it’s leaving you feeling bad about yourself, ask if you really need this feeling and their respective messengers in your life.
Sometimes the comparison game can inspire you to uplevel your own life and push you to try new things. If the game isn’t driving you to get out there and do better, you have choices.
If you’re following competitors and peers who don’t inspire you, put this book down for a minute and go on an unfollowing spree.
Consider just how much time you’re spending on social media. Not just for the sake of your sanity and your productivity, but the people around you. I use social media mainly for business and keeping in touch with family and friends, yet there’s still a need for balance. How available do you want to be to potential clients, your followers, and readers?
If I was spending three years of my life staring at a screen, that’s three years of my kids’ lives too. Now that seems completely unfair to them. Sorry kids, mommy’s got years of social media time to log by the time I die — assuming I live to a ripe old age.
Remember, there’s no prize for being the most social on social media.
“But I have so much to learn!”
Learning and reading are important and I dedicate several hours every week to learning. In 2015, I wanted to read more books. When I first discovered the website Goodreads, I was excited — oh, now I can track how much I’m reading. Tracking the books I read did this thing where I wanted to read more just to see the book count go up.
That year, I read sixty-seven books — all but two were nonfiction. This was also a year where I was commuting roughly three hours a day, so many were audiobooks.
Initially, my ego was proud of reading all those books. There was a big problem, though. I can’t recall a single detail or main lesson from any of them. I was reading too much. Since then, I’ve intentionally scaled way back on the number of books I read. I choose carefully and no longer feel compelled to finish a book if I’m not into it.
The same goes for guzzling courses, blogs, podcasts, and (obviously) social media.
I was consuming at an alarming rate and missing a key piece. And I wasn’t the only one. I see many business owners and aspiring authors missing this too. With a constant and never-ending supply of online courses, workshops, and webinars, we’re missing the pause.
We’re drinking from the firehose, racing through books, and listening to podcasts and audiobooks at 2x speed.
And for what exactly?
Where’s the integration and implementation time?
And, more importantly, when will you do your writing?
At first, I resisted the idea of integration — it felt like wasted time. I don’t want integration! I want more information! I need more information to be successful.
But more information for what exactly?
More information to consume, so I can forget, not apply a single lesson, and keep moving on?
Integrating information lets it become a part of us, transforming and evolving how we show up, think, act, do our jobs, and live our lives.
It’s about the invisible things that we can’t measure when we’re going a thousand miles per hour without stopping.
We need time to practice and digest what we learn before moving on to the next knowledge acquisition. I decided to stop the mad consumption that was taking me in circles. I intentionally slowed down and savored books. I’d take days in between reading new chapters to integrate the lessons.
Something happened when I took my time learning and implementing as I went — I actually learned. I gave myself time to let ideas sink in and marinate and, therefore, be more effective.
Now, when I take a course, I plan time each week to review materials. And I finish it before signing up for a new one.
The results are the life-proof I was looking for: I do deeper work, have better focus, make steady progress, and grow both personally and in business.
This is also why The Intuitive Writing School Community was born.
It came out of my need to do my writing. Because left on my own, I wasn’t getting it done. I was doing all the writing for everyone else and had no creativity or energy left for myself.
In my online writing community, we keep the focus on writing and relentless action-taking around our writing. This is why there’s only a digestible volume of new content in there each month.
Think about winter — it’s nature’s time to take a chill pill and snuggle under a weighted blanket. It’s where the invisible growth happens. Things are happening beneath the surface that we can’t see. The soil is resting, breaking shit down (technical terms here because you know I’m a farmer), and once it’s had a rest, spring comes, and seemingly out of nowhere, we see this bright green sprout poking up to say, Heyyyyy! Look at me! Look at what I made!
The same goes for information. Except we consume at such an alarming rate, we’re leaving undigested bits of food in our crap.
It’s like eating a week’s worth of meals in one day because they’re there. Know what happens when you do that? You’ll shit your pants.
Take the twenty-one meals you’d have over a week (or seven if you’re all about intermittent fasting) and slow the fuck down.
When you speed up audiobooks, podcasts, and courses, are you retaining any of that information? Are you doing it because they talk too slow? Or are you just trying to finish it? Finish it for what purpose? So you can get to work or get to the next thing?
Author Julia Cameron recommends a media break when writing — and she suggests pausing all media — no books, blogs, magazines, or anything else.
So, where do we draw the line between staying educated and informed and complete ignorance?
Are you tempted to turn on the TV just to get a glimpse into what’s happening in the world?
The more I got to know and honor my empathic nature, the more I noticed how I felt when watching violence on TV. Whether it’s the news, a movie, or a TV series, I’d notice my breathing getting shallow and my shoulders creeping up around my ears. If I tried to go to sleep after that, I’d be all wound up and would likely have shitty dreams.
Not to mention that the news, like social media, is designed to keep us glued to the screen out of fear, so we can go live our lives in fear. What, another Covid strain, and this is the worst? I better break out an extra mask and stock up on toilet paper just in case.
Information isn’t always power; it can be overwhelming. We need to set up filters and learn to let through only the stuff we need. We get to choose what we take in.
If you’ve never tried a media diet, try it for just a week. If there’s any week to start it, this is the one. Start today, right after reading this, and dedicate the time you would have spent scrolling, watching, reading, or listening and instead focus on the writing you’ve been putting off. You know, the writing you say you’re “too busy” to do.
Here’s something to try as you’re reading this book: Block additional time after you read — maybe it’s ten to thirty minutes right after you’ve read a few pages in here. Perhaps it’s actually doing the journal prompts instead of skimming them and thinking you don’t need to. Maybe you’ll keep a notebook, sticky notes, a pen, a highlighter, or index cards nearby to capture your insights.
Here are some integration tips to help you digest this book without heartburn (whoa, too much information!) and amnesia (what did I just read?):
Write morning pages — three full letter-sized pages filled with whatever comes to mind (you’ll learn more about these in Chapter 7).
If you’re an external processor, talk out your favorite takeaways into a free transcription app — so you can listen to it later or read your transcribed notes.
If you take notes while reading, dedicate an hour to go through your notes. Simply review them and notice what comes up.
Add notes to an online or physical notebook.
Write a blog post or email newsletter about your lessons.
Give yourself wide open space to do nothing for at least a day.
When you slow down the rate at which you consume, you may just be delighted to discover that you have a greater capacity for retaining information and maintaining creativity or focus.