Creating Calm in Chaos

A Hockey Rink Revelation

📸 Photo is not from the game described in this story, but a post-game moment of prayer (perhaps they should have prayed ahead of this game 😂)

A few months ago, I was at a local hockey tournament with my son. I soaked up all the enjoyment I could from this past season, as this coming season, he’s moving to chase his dreams.

During a late hockey game one evening, it proved to be complete chaos from the first few minutes.

Only two minutes in, the plexiglass above the boards fell off after someone was checked into it. They’re designed to give and absorb a check, but not fall off.

The rink maintenance guys are out there with ladders, drills, and screwdrivers trying to reattach it so the game can start again.

It was already close to my bedtime (er, 9:00 p.m. 😂), and my thoughts started swirling:

• Can we just go home?

• Is this a sign that the game is going to be bad?

• We should leave.

🕰️ Ten minutes crawl by.

Time is going so slowly because there are so many penalties. Clearly, these refs had a zero tolerance for even the slightest offense … and nowhere to be that night. I was craving my couch, a cozy blanket, and a hot cup of tea.

At one point, one of the refs, a grown man, threw his officiating whistle at the opposing coach on the bench. I guess he didn't like how this coach was trying to make calls for the ref, and as the ref tossed his whistle, he yelled, "You make the calls!"

It was weird. It was chaotic. It was uncomfortable.

The goaltender on the opposing team got hurt during a play, and I could tell that he was visibly not well. He let up a bunch of goals in a row. Clearly off. I scanned their bench and saw they didn't have a backup. If it were my son moving in the manner he was, I would have checked on him before letting him play. Call me a helicopter mom if you will, but it was obvious.

This weird game was just one thing after another.

The weirdness was only a problem because of how I was reacting to it.

I realized I let the chaos outside of me pull me in.

The thought, "we should end this game and call it a night," popped in again, and then I felt a hard NO.

😌 Deep breath, recenter, Jacq.

Chaos might happen outside of me, and I can choose to have my own internal stillness.

In that moment, that was my choice. As soon as I realized this, I relaxed.

I said a quick protection prayer in my mind for everyone in the arena, all the players, everything going on, calling on Jesus, speaking as if the calm was already present.

My prayer sounded something like this:

Thank you for your protection, thank you for keeping these boys in the light.

The prayer brought instant calm, peace, and harmony.

The game continued on, a little less chaotic. In the end, it was still a weird vibe. Our team had so many penalties that our coach was suspended for the following game (a USA Hockey rule). At one point, there were four of our guys in the penalty box.

We played most of the game short-handed and somehow ended up winning. My son was in the net that night for his team, and the only two goals he allowed were deflections from his own teammates. Not a lot you can do about those ones. All you can do is laugh.

The world is often in chaos.

We choose to engage with it or not. We get to decide how to move forward in our lives and keep our energy strong. And I was reminded in that game, which lasted well over the allotted hour, maybe two hours, that my energy mattered the most.

It was a deliberate effort to stay grounded and centered in all the noise and chaos, while maintaining my internal sense of peace (I smiled a quiet smile… smiling is a signal to my nervous system to relax).

If ever our minds feel chaotic, know that beyond the chaos is stillness and quiet.

And that can be how we write through. Our writing practice is a spiritual practice and can be that steady routine in chaotic times.

If you're writing and it feels chaotic, trust that the order is in there. And your job is merely to uncover it.